Rearranged: Happy Father's Day...Q&A with Jeremy

Happy First Father's Day!

In honor of Jeremy and his first Father's Day, I thought it would be fun to do a little Q&A. Enjoy!

How was your first Father's Day? What did you do?
My first Father's Day was perfect. I spent Saturday morning at home with my girls and the dogs, doing our normal thing. Then that afternoon MA took me on a surprise date that included the film Bernie, a massage, and dinner and milkshakes at Mighty Fine. I followed that up on Sunday with brunch at our community group gathering and golf with Ricky that afternoon. Then we came home to cold beers, fajitas, and the finish of the US Open. It was a great finish to a fun weekend.

What distinct memory do you have from Quinn's birth?
From the birth itself I have a picture burned into my memory of Q when she first started breathing and crying. Yes, I got brave and peered over the curtain to see Dr. Cowan actually pull her out of MA's uterus. That whole series of events was crazy... the sound of the suction device attaching to Q's head, seeing Dr. Cowan pull at her head and neck to get her out, and finally seeing her little body for the first time. She was kind of a shade of blue/purple before she took in her first few breaths, which was strange, but the sound of her crying was beautiful. I couldn't get over the fact that she was real and right in front of me.

What's your favorite memory of Quinn from when she was a tiny baby (first born)?
That first week was really hard. Q wasn't nursing well and was losing weight, and I felt a lot of pressure to do things better even though I had absolutely no control over what was going on. My favorite early memory was when we were at the lactation consultant's office and she hooked MA up to the SNS device and Q started nursing and actually getting some breast milk. I actually cried a few tears I was so happy. It's funny to think back now and realize how much we hated the SNS, but man it was a lifesaver that day.

What's your favorite part about being Quinn's daddy?
It's hard to choose one favorite part, but I do love going into her room in the morning when she's waking up and seeing the look on her face. She always lights up with a big smile and starts kicking her feet in excitement. Baby smiles are the best.

What's one thing you didn't expect?
I didn't expect to have as much time for me as I do. I had one friend in particular who had painted a pretty bleak picture for me of what fatherhood looked like. But I'd also heard that it's important for new parents not to lose their identity in their child's. I think that applies to parents as individuals and as couples. So with some small rearrangements of my routine and schedule, I still get some "me" time and have plenty to spare for husband and daddy time.

What will you do differently when (if) there's a second?
I don't know that I'd change that much. We've done a good job with making Q as independent a baby as we can. I think it's important for babies to learn that at an early age. And I don't think we've gone overboard on clothes, toys, or other baby accessories, so I suppose I'd try to strive for that same balance next time around.

What's your least favorite thing about fatherhood?
Right now I'm constantly thinking about what I could be doing better. There are days when I feel so guilty about not being able to provide for my family on my salary alone, but I remember that this was a choice we made together and that we have a plan in motion. But I do spend a lot of time wondering about how I can make Q's life easier, and it can be exhausting. I wouldn't call this worry, exactly, but it's definitely a stress point for me.

What piece of advice would you give a soon-to-be dad?
See my answer to number 5, but also make sure you get out to movies, go out on dates with your wife, and travel as much as possible. None of those things are impossible with a new baby, but they are definitely more difficult. Delighting in a lot of those simple pleasures ahead of time will help you appreciate them when they present themselves postpartum.

How has your relationship changed with Molly Ann since Q was born?
I feel like we're more on the same page than we were before. So much of our physical and emotional energy is focused on Q, and I think we've done a good job of figuring out what works for us in terms of parenting style. We've had some rough moments along the way (particularly when MA went back to work), but we've found ways to have difficult conversations in a civil way even when we're short on patience and energy. And we've lately been better about maintaining our marriage. It helps a lot to have Molly's mom there to take care of Q when we want to go out. It can't be overstated how important it is to find some time alone together. Even a quick night out for dinner and a movie has been able to sustain us for a long while.

Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy and Hubby in the world. I'm so glad to be a Mama with this Daddy! I love you!